Thanksgiving and Preventing Behavioral Problems

Holidays can be an exciting time for children but also a time of stress with large family gatherings, other children, and new environments. What can you do to reduce the anxiety of your children and prevent any behavioral problems? The following are some suggestions that can help.

Before Thanksgiving Day:
• Before the family gathering, show pictures of the people that will be attending the family Thanksgiving dinner. This will help prepare them better and they won’t feel so overwhelmed.
• Talk to your children about why families get together on Thanksgiving. There are some great children’s books on Thanksgiving that you can read to them as well.
• Plan to call the family’s house you are visiting beforehand and remind them to put away any valuables that your younger children could reach.

Arriving on Thanksgiving Day:
• Don’t force your children to hug and kiss the relatives they are meeting for the first time. It takes time for them to warm up and get comfortable. Tell your relatives to engage your children with a book or toy. This will help your children become more comfortable and build a relationship with them.
• Stay on schedule with your children as much as possible. Make sure your children get their naps if they need one at the appropriate time. Also, feed them their meals at their normal time as well. Children need consistency and doing these two things can really can help prevent a lot of behavioral problems.
• Finally, be consistent with discipline. Do your best to implement consequences as much as possible, especially if you are visiting another house. This will prevent them from attempting to do things they know they shouldn’t do.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect and appreciate our family and friends and all that we have to be thankful for in our lives. Find ways to get your children involved. There are many activities children can do that can help them feel a part of it. You can find many ideas on the internet so plan ahead for something fun that all the children can do together!

I wish you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving! I am thankful to all of you who watch my segment and support what I do.

Dr. Nina

Boundaries in Parenting

Hi,

It's been awhile since I post. I did not tape the last couple of weeks because of the Mavericks game and I was out of town. This Saturday I will be talking about setting boundaries with your children. What is appropriate and what is not? How do you discipline a child who crosses your boundaries? I will be answering these questions and more this Saturday - 11/21.

Also, please email me with questions that you may have about parenting. I may address it on my next segment! drninalpc@aol.com

Thank you,
Dr. Nina

Losing a child- how to cope

Parents,

The following are the stages of death that anyone grieving will go through. However, there is no sequential order. Everyone grieves differently. These stages help else realize that we are grieving appropriately and what we are experiencing is normal. There is no set time or limit on any stage. However, if you find yourself in one stage for a long period and emotionally stuck, this is the time to visit a therapist to help you work through any unresolved emotions.

Denial- This is when you are in a state of shock and disbelief of what has happened.

Anger - Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. The more you experience it, the more it will begin to dissipate, which will allow you to experience other emotions

Bargaining- After we lose a loved one, sometimes we will find ways that we think it could have been prevented. We get lost in a maze of “If only…” or “What if…” statements. We want to go back in time.
Often, guilt follows. We need to be careful during this stage that we don’t allow guilt to stifle our grieving.

Depression- Of course, you are going to experience great sadness. It will be painful and emotionally draining. It’s important to understand that depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. So allow yourself time to be sad.

Acceptance- This stage is about accepting the reality that our loved one is physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is the permanent reality.

Remember to give yourself permission to “let go” and release any emotions you are experiencing. It’s normal to feel this way and it’s normal to be depressed when a loved one dies. We must go through these emotions to allow the healing process to begin.

Grief is painful, tough, and exhausting. There is no easy way around grief. Take it day by day. Don’t set any expectations for yourself. Keep a journal if this helps you process your emotions and find support as you go through your loss. This is especially helpful if you have lost a child. Find a support group with other parents who have lost a child. This has been found to be very therapeutic.


Please see video clip about this topic, click here:
http://cbs11tv.com/video/?id=47116@ktvt.dayport.com

Making New Friends at school!

Hi Parents,

Hope this email finds your life a little calmer now that school has started. It's always an adjustment for every family!

This past Saturday's segment was on "Making New Friends" and how parents can help with this.

Click here to view it: http://cbs11tv.com/video/?id=46133@ktvt.dayport.com
Please email me with any questions you may have!


Dr. Nina

Going back to School- Reduce your child’s anxiety

Most children are going to experience some anxiety when preparing to go back to school, especially if it’s a new school. The first way to help your children with their fears is to talk about it with. Below are a couple of questions that you can ask your children that will help encourage discussion.

1. "What are a few things are you most worried about when you think about starting school?”
2. "What are a few things are you most excited about when you think about starting school?"

If they don’t want to respond to the first question with you, they will probably respond to the second question. You can help your children just by listening to them, validating their feelings, and reassuring them. You may also be able to help them with a particular fear or worry. For example: If they are unsure of where their class will be, then you can take them to the school and show them. You may also want to consider doing some role playing with your children if they are not sure how to respond in some situations. Also, sharing your own personal stories when you were nervous will remind them that this is a normal and natural emotion and that things will be okay.

You can also help reduce your child’s anxiety by doing the following 7 things:

1. Make a list of all the items your child will need to be prepared for school. Allow your child to have input when purchasing items for him/her.

• School supplies
• Clothes- This is a good time to go through your child’s closet and make sure all their clothes are appropriate for the fall and fit them appropriately!

2. Doctor visit/Child exam- It’s always good to get your child’s vision checked and get a hearing exam if necessary.

3. Visiting school- Take a tour with your child of the school and where his/her classes and locker will be. The more familiar they are with everything, the more it will help to reduce anxiety.

4. Bus routine- Make sure your child knows where the bus stop is located or the plans for getting him/her to school.

5. Re-establish bedtime routine- It’s time for your child to start going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. If you start doing this now, it will be easier once school begins!

6. Less TV & Video games during the day – It’s time to reduce this and refocus your child’s attention on things that would be more productive for school. Reviewing materials from last year would be one idea.

7. The day before school- The more prepared you and your child are the day before school, the easier the morning will be. Have your child pick out his/her outfit the night before, have their backpack ready, and anything else that will make your morning more relaxing. The more relaxed you are the first day of school, the more your child will be too!

As always, I wish you the best and much success as you get your children ready to go back to school!

Dr. Nina

Children and Grief

Hi Everyone,

Please view the segment on helping your child with grief by clicking here:
http://cbs11tv.com/video/?id=44171@ktvt.dayport.com

Please email me with any questions at drninalpc@aol.com

Dr. Nina

Traveling with your Toddler!

Traveling with Toddlers is challenging and a lot of work. I know because I just got back from Costa Rica with my toddler last week! There are definitely things parents can do to help make the process easier when traveling.

Here are 7 helpful tips when preparing for the flight:
1. A back pack is a great alternative to a diaper bag- Its got a lot of pockets and easier to carry.

2. Bring lots of snacks- Toddlers can be picky eaters so having a lot of snacks
will be helpful. Also, put them in baggies for easier access when getting them.

3. Beverages- Have some milk/juice boxes ready for them to drink during take off. This will prevent their ears from popping. Of course, eating food is good too!

4. Books/ Activity Books- Toys R Us has a great selection for all ages. These books may keep your toddler very busy during the trip.

5. Play dough- It’s not messy and fun for children!

6. Flash Cards- These worked great with my daughter when she seemed bored and frustrated. You can get many different types of flash cards at Toys R Us!

7. Video games or Videos- Many children enjoy a video to calm them down. There are many ways to view videos: DVD player, IPhone, Handheld video player. In addition, the IPhone has many different activities and games that you can download for free that are great for children.

Many parents are concerned about their child having a meltdown. There are usually signs that your child is getting frustrated. This is when to be proactive and try to meet his/her needs. They may want something to eat or drink or maybe just want your attention. The more you prepare and remain calm, the easier it will be for you and your child. If your child wants to walk up and down the aisle a few times on the plane, then let them. We had quite a few toddlers taking a short walk including my own!

The key is to be open and flexible when traveling. Obviously, there are some things you would do differently at home. However, when traveling it’s more challenging on everyone so make modifications and exceptions. Do what works best for you and your family!

Dr. Nina

Traveling

Hi everyone,

I just got back from Costa Rica with my family. Traveling with a toddler was a lot of work! I will be posting information on how to travel with a toddler and prevent meltdowns shortly. Please check back soon!

Dr. Nina :)

A 3-step bedtime routine that really works!

Hi Moms,

I am sure you have heard of someone that has trouble putting their infant or toddler to bed. Research has found that 20 to 30 percent of parents struggle with this daily and you may be one of them. Well, there is hope! The research study collected data from 400 Mom’s who had problems with their infant or child waking up 3 or more times during the night or sleeping less than 9 hours. Half of the Mom’s had infants from 7 to 18 months and the other half of them had toddlers who were 18 to 36 months.

They randomly selected ½ of the Mom’s to begin this 3-step bedtime routine and the other half continued doing what they had been. The goal was to see if it changed their current situation and it did! Their child was waking up less during the night and sleeping for longer periods.

The study recommended the following 3-steps to do with your child before putting them to bed.
1. Bedtime bath
2. Infant massage or if you have a toddler then apply lotion all over them.
3. Quiet activity- Cuddle them and sing to them and dim the lights

All three of these steps allow you to really bond and connect with your child. Today’s environment can be so stressful so implemented these 3-steps or creating another type of relaxing bedtime routine will allow for predictability and also relieve any stress that your child may be experiencing.

Children need structure. The more you can implement daily routines in your household, the less stressful it will be for everybody. As a result, Mom and Dad get a good night’s rest and some quiet time together, which research found definitely helps with maternal mood. In addition to this, your child’s behavior improves during the day because of their sleep the night before.
I would love to hear your bedtime rituals with your infant or toddler that have been successful to you. Please post and inspire other parents who may need some support.

Dr. Nina

Do you have a strong willed child?

Hi Everyone,

Do you have a strong willed child? How do you cope with power struggles? Tune in this Saturday on TXA 21 during the 8 o'clock hour to learn more. I will also follow up with a post!

Dr. Nina

Autism information

Hi Everyone,

I hope you were able to watch my last segment on Autism. The most important thing I can stress is that early intervention is key. One of the hallmark features of autism is impaired social interaction. Children with autism often fail to respond to their name, avoid eye contact, and have a difficult time interpreting what others are thinking and feeling. You will find that a child with autism has a difficult time making friends as well.

In addition to this, you will find they have a delay in verbal and nonverbal communication and repetitive behaviors and interest. To hear more, listen to my segment.

I know recognizing and seeing these delays in your child can be upsetting. Remember, there are great resources and people to help you. Autism is not curable but it is treatable and there are some great treatment plans in place. Highly structured and specialized programs seem to work best with autistic children. Get support today for you and your child if you suspect your child may be autistic.

You can contact your pediatrician or your local school district and ask for the special education department. They will guide you and evaluate your son or daughter.

You are not alone in this process. Stay positive and stay focused on what can be done for your child.

Dr. Nina

autism

Hi Everyone,

I did not tape this past Saturday because the Mavericks were playing! I will be addressing autism on my next week's segment. Please tune it for some important information and facts. I will also follow up my segment with a blog post so check back soon! Please email me with any questions at askninanow@aol.com

Dr. Nina

The Importance of the Father’s Role in a Child’s Life

Dad’s, do you ever wonder if you really play a significant role in your child’s life? I want to let you know that you do! A recent research study looked at 24 studies in the past 20 years to find out the benefits of the father playing an active role in their child’s life and they found many. You can hear about them on my past Saturday’s segment, “Raising Children Right”: Click here!

I know that its tough balancing a job and a family so trying to find time to spend with your child can be challenging. Be creative if your time is limited. Find ways where you can include your child and give them teachable moments. For example: You may need to go to Home Depot to pick up some items for a project at home. Take your child with you and get them involved in the task. This way you are engaging with them and teaching them things they didn’t know! They feel included and loved and this is the message we want to send to our child.

If you travel a lot, it can be very difficult finding time to spend with your child. Again, it’s being creative and finding ways to connect with them when you are away. A phone call, an email, a special card or note you give them before you leave are ways of sending the message, “Dad loves you and is here for you.”

The key is to start engaging and connecting with them early and be consistent throughout their childhood and teenage years. Remember, you do have an important role in promoting their social and emotional development!

Dr. Nina Rios-Doria, LPC
TXA 21 Expert – “Raising Your Children Right”

Toddler Language Development

Hi Everyone,

Well, this past Saturday's segment went by so quick! They always do. I have 3 minutes to tell you a 100 things and I just don't have time! I have decided to post the language information on the front page of my website so please refer to this for information on language development.

I won't be doing a segment this Saturday but will be back the following week. Please email me if you have a topic that you would like me to address. I know being a parent is hard work and it's difficult to find balance for all of us. I encourage you to look at what you are doing right as a Mom or Dad and not what you are doing wrong!

Dr. Nina

How to Calm a Crying Baby!

Hi TV Viewers,

I hope you enjoyed my last week's segment on how to calm your crying baby! I knew I would not have enough time to show you how to swaddle your baby correctly on TV so I have included a video for you to watch!

As a new mommy myself, I remember the sleepless nights, the feeling of sleep deprivation, and the sound of a crying baby that wants a little extra TLC. I found Dr. Karp’s method from his book, “The Happiest Baby on the Block” to work wonders! I hope it does for your baby too. I would love to hear your feedback about what happens when you apply the 5 S’s that he recommends below.

Here are the 5 S’s again that I discussed this past Saturday.

1st – Swaddle
Please watch my video on how to swaddle correctly and see all 5 S’s below: Click Here!

2nd – Side/Stomach
The side or stomach position stops an equally upsetting but invisible type of stimulation—the panicky feeling of falling, which is called the Moro reflex. It’s appropriate for this situation; however always place your baby on their BACK when they go to bed.

3rd – Shhhhing
This is a soothing sound for your baby. It reminds them of the sound when they were in your uterus.
“Shhh...” in their ear about 1 to 2 inches away. The louder the cry, the louder the “shhh…”. You will continue doing this as you move on to the next S.

4th- Swinging
Please watch video to see how this is actually done. Basically, you would lightly jiggle your baby in your arms if they were really upset and then swing them as they calm down.

5th – Sucking
You may not even need to do this last S. However, if your baby still doesn’t seem calm, offer them a pacifier or nurse them.

You may need to do the 5 S’s a few times before your baby really starts calming down. They need to get used to you doing this new method but I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel! Wishing you great success as new parents!

Dr. Nina Rios-Doria, LPC
TXA 21 – “Raising Your Children Right”

Childhood Obesity- Is your child overweight?

Hi Everyone,

I do my best each segment to tell you as much as I can in a few minutes but it's difficult! I hope that you were able to see my last segment on obesity. If you want to find out if your child may have a weight problem then figure out his/her BMI, which is Body Mass Index. You will find this on my website under "Download free resources" or you can click here!

This is a great time of year to get fit as a family! A recent national study found that 50% of parents are overweight that have an overweight child. Are you one of them? Whether you are or not, it's about encouraging your child to make smarter food choices and get active. We can do this by being their role model. Children look to their parents for guidance so guide them to great health starting today!

I hope you are enjoying these weekly segments and if there is a topic you want to hear me discuss on TXA 21, then email me at askninanow@aol.com

I appreciate your support!
Dr. Nina

Parenting Styles- which one are you?

Parenting Styles- which one are you?

This past Saturday, I discussed the 3 types of parenting styles and referred to the book by Dr. Foster Cline called, “Parenting with Love and Logic”.

The 3 parenting styles I addressed are the following:
Permissive Parenting –Helicopter Parent
Authoritarian Parenting - Drill Sergeant
Authoritative Parenting – Consultant

You can view the video on the front page of my website to hear about each one. The parenting style that we all want to strive to be is the Authoritative Parent or the Consultant Parent. If you find that you are more of a Drill Sergeant or a Helicopter Parent, that’s okay. The first step is recognizing this so that you can begin focusing on becoming a Consultant Parent to your children. They will benefit greatly. Our goal is to empower our children to make good choices, recognize their mistakes, and allow them to experience natural consequences. It’s tough being a parent, especially when you have more than one child and they all have different temperaments. Be consistent and set up realistic expectations. Every day try and find something positive you can say to your children. Focus on things they are doing right and not wrong. Our goal is to get them equipped and ready for their teen years so that they do feel confident and secure when making choices and that they do understand what it means to be responsible.

You can download some free information about the Love and Logic Parent on my website.

Wishing you all the best!!

Dr. Nina
TXA 21 – “Raising Your Children Right”

How parents can help children with their anger

How parents can help children with their anger

There are 2 things parents can do to help children recognize when they are angry, which are the following:

The first thing they can do is to help understand what makes them angry which can be different for each child. You will discover there are specific things that trigger their anger.

The second thing parents can do is to talk to their children about the early warning signs of anger. There are certain things that happen when someone starts getting angry such as the heart rate increases, a person starts breathing faster, talking louder, and things like this.

Once you discuss these two things with them, then come up with solutions for each child and create a chart. For example, you can title the chart “Sam’s ways of coping with Anger” and then list ways for him to deal with his anger. Some ideas for your child could be running or kicking a ball outside, taking 3 deep breaths and counting to 10, do 20 jumping jacks, draw a picture of what is making him angry. Allow your child to think of some ideas because this will empower him and make it his own. Next time when your child starts experiencing those early warning signs discussed, you can now refer them to their “Coping with Anger” chart.

Finally, talking to your child about other emotions that they may be experiencing when they get angry can also be helpful. Show them a “feeling chart”, which people can download free from my website is great to do. This feeling chart has a variety of emotions with pictures on it. Your child can refer to this the next time they get angry and point out other emotions that they may be experiencing.

Children need help recognizing and labeling their emotions. Parents are their best role s. I encourage all parents to talk about their feelings if they are sad or mad and refer to the feeling chart too! Be expressive about it so children see their parents handling their feelings appropriately, especially anger.

Remember, research has found that it takes 21 days of daily doing a new behavior to change it. Parents need to be patient and consistent. The next time your child gets angry, point it out to them and refer them to their coping chart to deal with their anger.

Dr. Nina
“Raising Your Children Right”

Welcome!

I am very excited to open this new blog. I look forward to this open format to discuss the issues that parents experience in their very challenging job of raising happy and healthy children.

Dr. Nina