As parents, we want our children to have positive and healthy relationships with friends. There are so many great benefits gained from friendships. They help your child build and develop social skills. Also, they encourage communication and help with problem solving. Friendships are especially important during the middle school and high school years. They provide emotional support and also help build self esteem during this critical stage of development. A positive circle of friends can prevent unpleasant experiences, like peer victimization (bullying) and teasing from other children or teens.
Parents play a large role in their child’s life when it comes to building and sustaining friendships. Parents can encourage this by modeling healthy relationships to their children. Children can benefit greatly from having a secure and healthy attachment to their parents. Parents who are loving, accepting, and respectful communicate to their child that they are valued, loved, and special.
There are many things parents can do to help their child develop and sustain friendships.
1. Encourage Conversational Skills- Teach them basic social skills. Parents can do this by spending quality time with them. Family outings and dinner gatherings are a great place to model this behavior.
2. Give them opportunities to make friends- Getting children involved in sports or clubs at school can help develop friendships. Of course, church groups and activities are great too!
3. Help them learn to control emotions- Research has found that children who have emotional control have more friends. Parents can role model positive ways to deal with every day frustrations. Expressing emotions appropriately and talking about them in front of the child will make a difference.
4. Expressing and showing empathy – Parents can model this by looking for opportunities around them. For example: If a parent sees someone sad or hurt in a real life situation or possibly on TV, they can talk about it with their child – “How do you think they feel? What do you think they need to feel better?”
Also, parents can model caring behavior towards others so that their child can see how it makes other people feel. It teaches the child that they have the power to make another person happy and understood.
5. Teach them to compromise -Parents can role model this by offering their child choices in the home and also getting the child’s help when making decisions. This can help a child later when they are confronted with a dilemma with their friends. It teaches them to offer choices and help with decision making.
Finally, let your child or teen know that you are available to them if they need your help and support. Research has found that children that could depend on their parents have better quality friendship with their peers. Parents play such a large role in a child’s overall development. Showing them constant love and support will get them through their childhood and teenage years and also help build and sustain their friendships.
Proverbs 27:9- “Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's counsel that comes from the heart.”
Dr. Nina